WHEN WE have one negative experience after another, it can be easy to say to yourself, “Why do I even try?” Trying to solve a problem in different ways and not seeing any positive outcomes can take its toll on your mental health. It makes negative thoughts run wild.
If you’ve had a bad day and would like to look at things rom different angle, then this article is for you. As it turns out, asking why you even try is a great way to reframe your situation, and I’d go as far as saying that it might actually be one of the most important question in life.
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Why Even Try When You’ve Already Been Trying for a Long Time
Chances are that you stumbled upon this article because you’ve been trying to make a situation work for quite some time. Perhaps it’s about romantic relationships, family members, sports, or your own business.
You hope for a positive outcome but after having put much time and effort into achieving your goal, you’re not seeing the results you’re hoping for.
Use the Rule of Three’s. It Works
The thing about goals is that we often underestimate how long it takes to achieve them.
A rule of thumb that has worked for me—in setting deadlines, managing my time, and establishing accurate time targets—is to multiply the estimated time of completion by a factor of 3. That is, if you think it will take you 30 days to improve your relationship with your partner, it’ll likely be closer to 90 days. Similarly, if you want to play better in your hockey games and think it’ll take 4 months to perform well consistently, aim closer to 12 months.
There’s truth in the Rule of Three’s because we have to adjust to the new situation and account for unforeseen challenges. On top of that, negative experiences can slow us down.
When it comes to embarking on a new journey, it’s important to just get started; You must escape your comfort zone and become comfortable with the idea of not seeing any results. Once you’re through that phase, things become easier, your progress become visible and you start to reap the benefits of your efforts.
Related: 3 Reasons Why You Should Manage Your Life Like a Business (4 min. read)
Sometimes, Trying Isn’t Even Worth Your Time and Effort
The sunken cost fallacy is a concept about the human tendency to stick with an investment even if it doesn’t produce sufficient returns. When we invest time and effort into a cause that we care about, we can have a hard time abandoning that project because we feel a sense of attachment.
Should You Count Your Losses?
Sometimes it’s best to count your losses. The best way to determine whether you’ve invested too much time into something is to simply write out your pros and cons. Let’s say, for example, you’re trying to determine whether you should continue with your restaurant. You opened your doors 5 years ago and haven’t made enough profits to sustain your operations. Your list of pros might look something like this:
- You do what you love
- You can be the leader of a team
- You meet new people daily
Your list of cons could look something like this:
- You’re not making enough money
- You don’t have any recurring customers
- It’s time-consuming and you don’t have much free time
After you weigh your pros and cons, you might realize that it’s best to stop trying. Your whole life has been centred around your business for half a decade, and you might no longer have any healthy relationships with friends and family, and debt is accumulating. In this case, it would be best to stop trying.
“Why Do I Even Try?” Might Be the Best Question You Could Ask. Here’s Why
A lot of people ask themselves “Why do I even try?” without realizing the power behind the question. They get down on themselves and might even follow up with something along the lines of, “There’s something wrong with me,” or “I’ll never be able to make this work.”
Reframe the Situation, If Possible
Rather than letting it affect you emotionally, try to tell yourself a different story. Here’s why “Why do I even try?” can be a powerful question to ask:
- It Tests Your Character: When the going gets tough, your character is being tested Going through hardship is a true test of who you are and what you’re made of.
- It Can Force a Decision: Asking yourself a tough question is not necessarily a bad thing if it helps you make a decision on the direction you want to take.
- It Makes You Realize Value: To reflect on a situation in your life is a good exercise. Would it be a good thing if you continue to try?
Rather than feeling sorry for yourself and your situation, be sure to reframe the situation. As Ada Adams said, “There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Some tunnels just happen to be longer than others.” That being said, you need to carefully reflect on your situation to see if its worth continuing on your path.
If you value your relationship with your partner, it might be a good idea to continue trying to make it work. Other times, you feel like you’ve already tried everything and it might feel like there’s no way out.
Use this article as a guide to help you make a decision. How much time have you invested into things? Is this just a test of your character? Do you need to make an important decision?