LIFE IS full of milestones. It’s nearly impossible to approach monumental changes without questioning whether you’re fit for them or not.
In a world that’s big on the hustle culture that constantly demands more of you, it’s easy to get lost and be confused about where you stand in this society.
We’ve all been there. Trying to make sense of what the world expects us to do, figuring out what our sense of purpose is in this world, and struggling to do the right thing for ourselves, all while trying to overcome the obstacles daily life throws at us.
If you feel like you might be having an identity crisis, don’t worry. Going through an identity crisis is quite normal, especially if you’re an entrepreneur embarking on an entrepreneurial journey for the first time.
What Is an Identity Crisis?
An identity crisis is a phase where you question your place in the world. It’s a concept that was brought forth by psychologist Erik Erikson1 , who pushed the idea that the development of one’s identity is one of the most significant internal conflicts that people face.
It happens to a lot of people at least once in their life. It can happen when you …
- End a romantic relationship with a long-time partner
- Try to find the courage to start your own business and elevate your career
- Figure out the best way for you to truly understand and accommodate your own needs
Related: “Why Even Try?” Might Be One of the Most Important Question in Life (5 min. read)
Some Great Books on Finding Your Purpose
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The Purpose Driven Life
by Rick Warren
Man’s Search for Meaning
by Viktor E. Frankl
How Do You Know if You Are Suffering From an Identity Crisis?
First things first: How do you know if you are going through an identity crisis?
If you have been having a hard time figuring out what you want to do with your life, or if you have been doubting your capabilities as an individual, then you are most likely having one already. Here are some signs to look out for if you think you’re going through a crisis.
- You sometimes question whether you are faking your personality traits for other people.
- You are struggling to figure out your purpose or passion.
- You don’t like being asked questions about yourself.
- You have difficulty connecting with new people you meet.
- You often get anxious about anything that involves making big decisions because you don’t trust yourself enough to handle a challenging situation.
- You notice that you have been insecure about many things regarding yourself lately.
- You feel lost and directionless, and your plans are scattered.
- You have developed a low self-esteem.
When people suffer from an identity crisis, they tend to put up a facade in front of other people.
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “My confidence is killing me,” you probably struggle let loose in front of other people. You adapt from one situation to another and change your personality because you don’t like being judged.
Simply put, people undergoing an identity crisis change quickly depending on their environment.
Faking an identity is the easiest way for people to pretend that they have a grip on themselves. When there are still many things you don’t like about yourself, you fake a personality to please others.
You hide your authentic self because you are not confident about who you are. Facing internal conflict such as an identity crisis can be quite taxing, so it is crucial for you to understand how to overcome it.
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How to Overcome Internal Conflict
Learning to be in control of yourself is never as easy as it sounds, and although it will take a lot of time to become who you truly want to be, it will be worth it in the long run.
Bad things always happen. If you trust yourself enough and believe in what you’re capable of, you will be able to get through difficult times much better.
The best way to overcome insecurities is to let yourself explore who you are, all while learning not to overthink things outside your locus of control. Here are some ways you can overcome identity problems.
- Give yourself some space and time to react.
- Accept both your strengths and weaknesses.
- Don’t force yourself to do something you’re not comfortable with.
- Revisit values most important to you.
- Learn to be more aware of your emotions and how you react in certain situations.
- Tune out external and internal judgments.
- Overcome your fear of being judged.
- Find support from a trusted family member.
- Revisit and reflect on your past relationships, whether they be with old friends or romantic partners.
- Say no to social media for some time.
If you think that this is something much more severe than just an identity crisis, seek professional help or find social support in mental health groups.
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Simply Put: Don’t Be Something You’re Not
Know that only you can control what path to take.
You will inevitably face tough times, but if you are a great believer in your capabilities, then no other thing or person could bring you down. You’ll become resilient to criticism.
Going through an identity crisis is quite normal, especially when you are at an age where you have to make significant decisions, such as whether to start a business or work a 9 to 5.
Still, when you take the time to learn who you are and how you work as an individual, it will be truly worth it, even if it takes a long time. Once you fully grasp your inner workings, you won’t even have time to entertain self-doubt and pessimistic thoughts like asking yourself, “Why do I even try?”.
At the end of the day, the most important step for you to do is to stop trying to be something you are not and fully embrace yourself for who you are.
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How to Stop Being Something You’re Not?
Learning more about yourself and harnessing your strengths and weaknesses can seem like the hardest thing.
You will soon realize that being yourself is the easy option when comparing it to what you’re doing right now. Start with the little things and work your way up. Be your own motivational speaker.
Don’t stress too much about figuring out your path to success because once you take control of yourself and do not depend on your identity, you are well on your way to becoming the best version of yourself. Like Albert Einstein said, “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.” Harness your skills, strengths, weaknesses, and personality traits—own them, own your identity, and never let anyone else dictate who or what you should be.
Content Contributor: Sophia Feona Cantiller
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References
- Conn, Walter E. “Personal Identity and Creative Self-Understanding: Contributions of Jean Piaget and Erik Erikson to the Psychological Foundations of Theology.” Journal of Psychology and Theology, vol. 5, no. 1, Dec. 1977, pp. 34–39, doi:10.1177/009164717700500105